Monthly Archives: February 2015

The Theory of Everything

I’m writing this blog very late in the evening, 12:26pm to be exact (but I just can’t sleep because of what I want to write).  I would say that I am a night owl, but that would be a lie because I am a morning person, through and through.  I started yawning at 7:30pm when I went to see a movie with one of my friends tonight.  I specifically remember yawning because I recall her scolding me saying, “This was your idea—don’t fall asleep”.

I couldn’t have fallen asleep.  It was the best movie I’ve ever watched.

**side note:  I’m an exaggerator.  But I mean everything that I exaggerate at the moment that I exaggerate it.  Carrying on… 

“The Theory of Everything” 

Beautiful, beautiful movie.  I mean, beautiful.  I wept from scene one to the closing credits.

In fact—you should go to your iTunes or Spotify (right now) and click on the Johann Johannson’s Motion Picture Soundtrack because it will really set the mood for what I am about to write.

Got it playing?  Lovely, right??  I know..

Now, you’ll need to read the remainder of this blog with an English (British) accent.  Mostly because everything just sounds better with an English accent (especially when it is in the voice of Felicity Jones—who is surely my designated #wcw for the next several weeks.  WCW means:  “Woman Crush Wednesday”, Mom – FYI – for your information).  

I’m up late pondering the power of love.  I love, love.  I loved the love that they portrayed in that movie.  Not the typical chick-flick, superficial, surface-deep kind of love.  But the real, unwavering, honest to goodness faithful no-matter-what kind.

I drove home, heart full, thankful for a love like this:

2 Timothy 2:11-13   “If we die with him, we will also live with him.  If we endure hardship, we will reign with him.  If we deny him, he will deny us.  If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful for he cannot deny who he is.” 

That last line in that verse always gets me.  You almost expect for it to end by saying, “If we are unfaithful, well of course he won’t have to hold up to his end of the bargain because you broke your promise, you crazy.”

But it doesn’t say that.  Not at all.  He can’t be anything but faithful because that is who. he. is.  He is love.  You can’t be anything but love when you are indeed, love itself (1 John 4:7-8).

I want to be love too.  Obviously, the incredibly flawed, always messing up and picking up the pieces version—but I really want to try to be as much like love as I can be.

My Grandpa Harald was the greatest at loving people.  He passed away a few weeks ago and I miss him a lot.  He was the type of man that lit up every room he was in.  Charming, charismatic, lovable.  He made every person he talked to feel like they were the most important person in the world.  He would always say, “I don’t know any strangers—a stranger is just a friend that I haven’t met yet”.

He wanted my brother-in-law to read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 at his funeral..

“Love is patient and kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up.  Never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” 

He would always insist that he wasn’t very good at loving the way the verse instructs us to—but at 97 years old, he was still working at it (doing very well in my opinion) every single day.

There is always something in that verse that we can work on.  None of us will ever perfectly love—but I suppose that is what makes God’s love so incredibly wonderful after all.  It’s unachievable, yet freely given.  What a mystery.

His love is the kind that has inspired me to move my life to the other side of the world (in less than two weeks) just for the opportunity to look into the eyes of someone that has never experienced that kind of love before and for the hope to share it with them.

Someone told me the other day that they were proud of me for “putting my life on hold for a year” in working for a humanitarian organization overseas.  I was humbled, and understood what they were meaning in the kindest way, but it made me think..

I don’t want to put my life on “hold”.  Nothing is stopping or slowing down.  I don’t want to think that at the end of this year, I’ll give myself a pat on the back for doing a “good deed” and then come back to everything as normal.  I want my “every day” to be lived out in loving and serving others to the best of my ability—no matter what job, city or zip code that may lead me to.

I think, as followers of the God who calls himself LOVE, we should exemplify “love” better than anyone else in the world.  I wonder if that’s why my Grandfather tried to live out that 1 Corinthians verse.. because I believe he understood the power of love and lived it out better than he ever gave himself credit for.

I hope I (we) will do the same.

 

counting the days til India. Undaunted.

24 days left in Dallas. 

I can’t wait to move to India.  Well, I can—and have to, obviously.  Don’t be silly.  I’m just exaggerating to let you know how excited I am.

Today, I’m deciding to share some of my favorite pages from one of my favorite books that I have continued to read over and over since it was given to me two years ago for my birthday (thanks Janna).  Each time I pore over the pages, I feel encouraged to keep moving forward–toward my goals, hopes and dreams; despite my past mistakes, my current circumstances and my future fears.

UNDAUNTED, by Christine Caine 

I looked through this book today because I was feeling like I needed to be reminded of why I am deciding to move my life to the other side of world, to a place that I have never been, to work with and for people that I have never met.

I have a lot on my mind.  Last month surprised me with an overwhelming amount of… difficulty.  trouble. worry.  anxiety.  hiccups?  I actually just searched “problem” in the Thesaurus (one of my favorite things – the Thesaurus, not problems) and I came up with that list of words.  Last month was…hard.

I suppose when your life is changing in such a substantial way, you have to pack away not only the winter clothes that you won’t be needing in India, but also things that you have been carrying around with you emotionally/spiritually that will only weigh you down on the journey.

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“Life will eventually turn every person upside down, inside out.”  
It’s true.  When bad things, or just “things” happen to us—we have the opportunity to ask ourselves what we are going to do about it.  Will we allow the things that are hard, the things that hurt us, the people that betray us to make us bitter—or will we choose to become better?

We have a choice to allow our past, present and future hurts and disappointments to propel us into a deeper understanding of love and life, or we can decide to cower back, cross our arms and burry our pain to protect ourselves from the next blow.

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“Just as life will upend you, so will love.” 

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I choose love.  “I am going to love others like I never had before.”

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetI had to resolve my own heartache if I expected to keep ministering to others in theirs.” 

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“Allow God to continually soften your heart so that it beats for what his heart beats for–people.” 

“ If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.  If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.  If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere.  

So, no matter what I say, what I believe and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. ” 

– 1 Corinthians 13:1-7 MSG

 

So, I have decided,

Love always (even when it’s not so easy),

Amy